Dear my younger self …
Don’t be surprised by this ‘magical’ letter…. I’m actually writing you this as a response to EF Challenge. I was once thinking of skipping it, but I’m finally glad that I didn’t. It turned out that this, so far, is my most favorite challenge among all. It made me contemplating a lot about us; the 10-year-ago you, and the 10-year-later me. It may sound weird, but really…, I honestly hope that somewhere in a mind-blowing unparalleled universe, you can somehow read this letter …..
When I let my mind wandering back to the years of your existence, I might say that I envy you quite a lot.
You’re always so high-spirited. You grabbed any opportunities that come your way and delivered it well. You had 3 jobs at once, your day was never quiet. You run from offices to tv station to your humanitarian activities, almost every single day. I wonder… did you ever feel tired?
Now that I think about it…., I envy you but at the same time I also pity you.. You were so busy catching up dreams that you forgot to embrace yourself… You let your energy drained by all those activities, sometimes you even skipped meals, and those were pretty much the reasons why you got hospitalized quite often. Don’t, ….please just don’t…, take your health for granted !!
My dear li’l me ….
Ten years ago the You that I know is so not into anything girly. The only things you put on your face was a Nivea lotion, a Pigeon powder, and … that’s pretty much it… You might be very surprised to find out that now your mornings and nights are filled with bottles of Korean skincare and those tiring facial routines, just to keep your skin as young as what you used to have ….. ^___*
I’m LOL-ing the fact that you put so little products on your face because you were just afraid of having your skin growing old too soon, and now you put so many skincare on your face, for pretty much the same reason… haha!! 😉
By the way, ever since I could even remember, Pa had planted the seed of going abroad inside of us…. That’s the reason why you were like a scholarship-junky for some years… You pushed yourself hard to get out of our ‘lovely’ country that, back then, seemed not that lovely. You may hate this fact, but really, after 10 years you will find yourself living and breathing all things Indonesia, while trying to conquer the culture of the Dutch.
When contemplating our life as one, I suddenly realized that in a world where everything seems fast-forwarding, I find myself enjoying life in a quite slower pace. This, I know, is totally not you… Maybe the fact of me being a SAHM contributed a lot to that.
In any ways, you were certainly not a mother-material. But now, every day you wake up thanking God that you are blessed with such wonderful kiddos. I have to tell you, Abang and Noni are kiddos to die for 😉
Owh….I have a funny fact I’d like to tell you…. I recalled there were moments where you felt so proud with your achievements; when you got those scholarships, when you got promoted, when you received award, etc. But I, with so much proud in my heart, tell you that right now being able to cook Sambal Bu Rudy with the same taste as the original, is a kind of achievement for me…. Hahahaaa!!!
You can’t put price on it when, after hours of cooking, you saw the kiddos smiling at you and saying, “Bedankt Bunda voor lekker eten…” Aaahhhhhh…… 😀
One thing I remember well is that whenever life gave you lemons, you put it into a trash can and went after the one you want. You know what….? The You who’s writing you this letter is the opposite; when life gave me lemons, I go find sugar and made it into lemonade. It’s true… I learned to embrace whatever coming my ways, and to humbly accept things that I cannot change. Well….., just deal with it; we used to be a risk-taker, but now we are a proud risk-averse (haha!).
I suppose that’s how people are becoming, when they grow old ^___*
Hey you, younger me ….
I think my letter is too long to the point that I’m afraid it’s become a boring one to enjoy…. But before I close this, I want to remind you to spend more times with our Pa and Ma. Living far from home makes me realized that I spent so little time with them.. That’s the thing I most regret right now..
At last, I’m thankful for any decisions you had made and path you had taken during your times, because those are all that brought me to where I am now ….. And I want you to remember this: God’s promises never fail….
Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
-Your 10-year-later self-
Psstt…. I just noticed that after 10 years have gone by, many things might have changed but only one thing remains; my winter jacket hahaha!! Let’s just say that I’m a vintage person ^_____*